Difficult boss: My boss is driving me mad. Is it time for me to move?
Mon, February 8, 2010 at 12:00 
Our guides have been asked this question about having a difficult boss: My boss is driving me mad. Is it time for me to move?, and they respond with the following set of questions to help you with your thinking in this situation...
Guide Question 1: What do you currently enjoy about your job, and what don’t you?
Guide thoughts: While your boss is the most important person in your work life, there’s much more to your job than that relationship. Your Position Ignition Guide will encourage you to examine your current work life. How long have you been doing your job, is it still sufficiently challenging, but too much so? How’s your work/life balance, the commute, your fit with your company’s values? How long has your boss been ‘driving you mad’? Is he really a difficult boss? Is this a product of the pressure they are under, or is it something about them?
This examination will give you perspective on your situation. For instance, if you love everything about your job, except your boss’s current behaviour – which is not how they used to be – you are in a radically different situation from someone whose audit reveals they dislike the direction their organisation is going in: has ceased to feel a link to its values; increasingly finds the working environment toxic; AND is being driven mad by their boss.
This is the essential first step to making a sensible decision about your work future.
Guide Question 2: What have you said to your boss about the situation?
Guide thoughts: Contrary to what the media say, we at Position Ignition believe most people in a job are in a powerful position. Baby boomers of 60 and over are retiring: there aren’t enough people with experience to replace them; and the war for talent is hotting up. It’s in your boss’s interest, and your organisation’s, to keep you. Before you decide you to leave, it’s usually worth considering how you might improve your relationship with your boss.
Working with your Position Ignition Guide, you can design, and rehearse a conversation with your boss about what they want from you, and ways in which you can support them more effectively. These conversations often reveal that something trivial you are doing – or not doing – is a problem for them, and a slight change in your behaviour will sort the situation.
Guide Question 3: What options other than leaving have you explored?
While it is tempting to march into your boss’s office and tell them where to stick their job, it may not necessarily be sensible, especially if it is only your boss’s current behaviour that is driving you mad. He/she may be a difficult boss but this isn't necessarily the best course of action.
For instance, if, when working with your Position Ignition guide, you establish that it is likely that your boss is driving most other people in the organisation mad, it may be that they are not going to have their job for long. In which case, you will either have a new boss, or be able to go for their job yourself. In this situation, it may be best to play a waiting game.
And your Position Ignition guide is likely to challenge you to examine what else you have tried in order to sort this situation out.
Guide Question 4: Are there other deals that might remedy the situation?
When you are dealing on your own with a stressful situation – and having your boss drive you mad is certainly one of those – it often seems like you have only black and white choices such as to knuckle under, or storm out. However, by working through the situation with your Position Ignition guide, you may find a host of other, more creative solutions.
For instance, have you considered converting your current job into part time work? Or dropping certain responsibilities, and taking on new ones? Or moving roles within your current organisation? Or becoming a consultant, rather than an employee?
If you have not had a conversation like this, you can explore these and other options with your Position Ignition guide, and perhaps come up with a range of ideas to start a different conversation with your boss, that will almost inevitably generate some new options for you, and them.
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Reader Comments (1)
In this bad economy it's difficult to get a new job, and your boss and company know it. It's not fair for them to stress you, but unless you don't really need the income you're going to have to live with it. Forget about Baby Boomers retiring and a supposed war for talent coming - few companies recognize this and fewer plan for it. Instead they assume that they'll come out ahead by firing more expensive experienced people (you) and replacing them with cheaper out-sourced day laborers. If you try to play your experience card they will cancel you in a heartbeat. IF you have a boss you can talk to it is always best to try to work something out first. Maybe you can help him identify the problem and how you can be part of the solution. IF your company has an "open door policy" you might talk to your boss's boss, but this can backfire badly - realize that they promoted your boss for a reason, they still probably like him, they probably don't know your track record and they'll probably form their opinion about you based upon what he says. Despite the economy, unless you can smooth things over with your boss it's time to start looking for a new job. Look within your company first since your experience fits there best and hopefully you've earned a good reputation. Hopefully I'm wrong about an upcoming talent war and you can find a better situation. Start saving extra money to tide you over if you end up out of work for a while - today's rule of thumb is enough to cover your basic expenses for one year. Pay down as much debt as you can too. When you are not a slave to debt you will not have to endure bad bosses and work conditions.